So my baby has been gone for over twenty-four hours and it’s hard. If he was just visiting his parents in Georgia for the weekend, it wouldn’t be nearly as hard. What is it about distance? I would still have spent the entire day without him, but knowing that he’s so much further away and knowing that it’s seven weeks just makes it so much harder. I know that this period can be really important to our marriage. I cannot become emotional and take my fears out on him. I have to be extremely understanding, give him his space. I can’t get upset when I don’t hear from him, or complain about things. I have to be a giving, loving, understanding and strong wife.
Fortunately, I have the benefit of having married such a good man. Arron is so good to me. He is so loving and supportive. It makes it so much easier to have your husband so far away when you know that he is a good man who loves you and is dedicated to you.
Francois de la Rochefoucald said that “absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.” This can easily be an opportunity for me. An opportunity to become a strong and supportive wife for Arron. Our marriage can really grow during this time. My response to this situation could easily destroy us. If I were to nag him, and cry every time we get on the phone, fall apart and become an emotional wreck, then it would drag Arron down and ultimately drag our relationship through the dirt. But if I stay positive, look forward to the future, and focus on all the amazing things about my husband, then I can grow and mature through this experience, which will encourage and strengthen Arron and, again, our marriage.
This is all really easy to write down, but in practice, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Waking up alone is hard. Going to sleep at night takes forever. It’s two in the morning right now. but this is not forever. I fell asleep around noon and, in between that falling asleep but still sort of awake stage, I had this waking dream that he was with me. I was scratching his head while falling asleep and I could feel his hair against my cheek, I could smell his coconut shampoo, I could hear him breathing. It was so real that my excitement of having him back woke me up. I still haven’t decided if it was worth the disappointment when I realized that it was only a dream.
But we did set up skype today. We sat and talked for a while. I don’t know, it wasn’t really as exciting as I thought it would be. I guess it was just sort of awkward because we hadn’t used skype before and we didn’t really know what to say. “How was your day?”, “Have you settled in nicely?”, “Do you think you’ll have much free time?”. Meanwhile, all I’m thinking is I miss you, I need you, I want to be in your arms. But he already knows these things. I’ve said them a million times. If I continue to say them every time we talk, it will only make it harder for both of us. I have to say positive things. I think we’ll get used to it though. Once things have settled down, and we have a regular routine then we’ll find the words.
Having a positive attitude really helps, though. It helps me to view things differently. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem as though the world is coming to an end. I have a great husband who loves me and we make a great team. We can get through anything. If I don’t know that, then I don’t know anything and I don’t deserve him.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.”
-Winnie the Pooh
Tags: time away
Watching maturity grow in you before my eyes is really quite amazing. Arron is a lucky man!