well it has been awhile since i blogged. a lot has happened. i am so grateful for this blog though, because being able to look back at where you were and what you went through, and how that affects your attitude toward the things happening to you now…it’s really amazing.
when i logged into wordpress today, my plan was to rant about how frustrating it is as an airwife to watch people on base be stupid, particularly married men. but then i wound up reading some of my past posts and i was just amazed. the Lord touched my heart in early of august last year to begin revival in my heart. i didn’t really question why, it sounded like a good idea, it sounded exciting, so i pursued revival. i was on a complete mountain top and i never wanted to come down. but through it all, in the back of my mind, i knew that i couldn’t stay up there forever, hard times were coming. revival is followed by hard times- testing, refinement, and beautification. still, i relished the revival while i was there. it lasted from august nearly all the way through october.
in early july, the call came. it was very early in the morning around 2am. it was arron. he sounded upset. “you need to call your parents.”
“why?”
“your grandmother is in the hospital. it doesn’t look good.” i knew that gramma was in for a surgery, but she was always in the hospital. she always came out okay.
“but dad said it seemed like she would be okay?”
“no baby” his voice broke up “they….they’re hoping you can get home in time for the funeral.”
i burst into tears. all i could get out was “no! no, no!”
he cried with me for probably a half an hour before i needed to call my parents. i was able to get through to my mom, my dad was in the room with gramma. i told her to go into the room and whisper into gramma’s ear that i was on my way.
leadership on base was amazing. they were able to get me on a kc10 within two hours. i was absolutely out of control while driving to the pax terminal. it was and still is the only time i have ever experienced stand-still traffic on base. i was literally screaming at God, begging him to make the way, getting me to the pax terminal. if i missed that flight, i was convinced i would not see my gramma. i BEGGED him to keep her alive, “please just let me see her one more time!! PLEASE!!!!!”
by some miracle, it was like He slowed time and i was able to get to the pax terminal with time to sit with (i believe it was) the colonel’s wife and have coffee. i honestly am not sure exactly who she was. it was all a blur. i really need to find out and send her a thank you note… she was a great comfort and helped distract me a bit so i could keep it together. after she left, God provided me with another friend who i didn’t even know worked there. he walked over and asked me if i was okay, “you seem very upset. where are you going?”
“my gramma is in the hospital and they don’t think she is going to make it. i’ve never had someone so close to me die. it never occurred to me that gramma wouldnt’ be here forever.”
“oh gosh, i’m so sorry….i wish there was something i could do. i’ve experienced it and i know that it is very hard. i know it doesn’t help right this very moment but i want to tell you that it does get better. and remember that i will be praying for you.”
we talked for a few more minutes until they took us out to the plane. i’m very grateful that someone i didn’t even know that well decided to reach out and be there for me also.
and at this point, i need to take a break because writing about this is very hard. i will continue tomorrow.
my beautiful gramma and my papa
Hey! Wow, just found this – how sweet and sad….hugs and kisses and well-wishes!